STM-1987Northbrook Court, Illinois
The Daily Mucus · Year 1987
MYSTERY GOOP DISCOVERED OUTSIDE SAM GOODY
Mall security cordons off the food court fountain pending further consideration.
— Filed by Tasha K., Trend Reporter
Medical Advisory
- Apply Aqua Net to the sinuses. (Withdrawn 1988.)
- Chew cinnamon gum aggressively at the onset of any sniffle.
- Visit Nose Zone, the first mall mucus kiosk, near the carousel.
- Avoid the carpet sample store. The carpet sample store knows what it did.
Etiquette Codex
- Sneezing into one's scrunchie is acceptable in a pinch.
- Mall food court tables are to be wiped before AND after any nasal event.
- Polite mucus disclosure is required before entering a friend's Camaro.
- Sharing a tissue at the arcade implies engagement.
Mucus Forecast
STM-1987.WXMucus
Sticky, neon, lightly mentholated
Miasma
High Aqua Net concentration above the Orange Julius
Advisory
Do not touch the railing. Do not touch the railing.
Artifacts
STM-1987.01
Mixtape: 'Sneezes for Brenda'
Side A includes 23 sneezes, Side B a single mournful sigh.
STM-1987.02
Polaroid: Food Court Anomaly
A pale form near the soft pretzel kiosk, partially obscured by a perm.
STM-1987.03
Nose Zone Promotional Flyer
Mall handout. Neon ink. Coupon expired Feb 1988.
Period Advertisement
Verified Historical
— A Word from Our Sponsor —
NOSE ZONE
Tubes. Sprays. Wipes. Vibes. The radical mucus experience your nostrils deserve.
Now hiring. Must have own scrunchie.
Cross the Food Court
Interactive ExhibitReach the Nose Zone kiosk (far corner). Avoid the wet tiles. Use arrow keys or the pad.
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Wet tiles touched: 0
A Suspicious Footnote
“Mall security log, 14 July 1987: 'Pale substance observed. Refused to make eye contact. Again.'” [citation needed]
Hint: a pale specimen is hidden somewhere in the exhibit above. Find it.